Thursday, 14 November 2013

Attachment Parenting

There has been some information on Attachment Parenting in the media over the past few days.  Attachment parenting is about building a bond with your baby and responding to their needs in a timely and sensitive way.

It loosely follows the seven Bs:
  • Birth bonding
  • Breastfeeding
  • Baby wearing
  • Bed sharing
  • Belief in the language of your baby’s cry
  • Beware of baby trainers
  • Balance
What I didn't realise until I researched this a little more was that you don't have to follow all of the B's and it isn't about being regimented.  It's about finding out what works for you and YOUR baby.  It is about knowing your child.  At the end of the day no-one will know your child better than you and your partner, yes people will try and help and make suggestions but you will know what your child's cry will mean and you need to trust your instincts.  Attachment parenting isn't about ignoring all that "helpful" advice from others either, its about seeking support for yourself when you need it.

We are planning on both having skin to skin contact with bump after the birth.  I am going to try and breast feed but we also want Mr M to have that skin to skin time, we will continue that at home too.  We have also been trying to bond with him prior to birth by speaking to him and rubbing my belly.

Mr M is very keen to babywear, its not that I'm not keen but I have issues with my back and am not sure whether I will be able to babywear.  I am going to give it a try though but I think Mr M will probably do this more than me.

Bed sharing scares me!! I won't lie.  The thought of the baby in bed and I roll onto him is all I can think about when I consider bed sharing.  Our midwife told us that there are ways to safely bed share but I honestly don't think I will be able to sleep if we did this for fear of hurting him.  I have seen bednests which open up at the side so baby is next to you but separate, these really appeal to me but are expensive.

We have already discussed how we are going to deal with bump crying.  Everyone has their own approach but we want to respond to his crying in a timely manner.  I know that people say you are spoiling them but a newborn baby has no idea what manipulation is, if he is crying there will be a reason and we want to respond to that.  As he gets older we will get to know him and his cries.

I am going to seek support whenever I need it, friends and my mum have already been a great help and I know that will continue once bump is born.  I will also be telling people when to back off as well, I am quite strong minded and I also fester on things, I need to be straight but pleasant with people otherwise I can see myself exploding at them if whatever it is continues.

Balance is very important I think.  We have discussed that we are going to try and do this as a team, obviously when Mr M goes back to work I will be on my own but he says he will help when he is back home.  I can't really ask for more than that.  I have also spoken with friends and plan to go to baby groups so I am meeting other people and not going mad within the 4 walls of the house.  I think that baby groups are great for bump too, anything to help stimulate him.

Attachment parenting isn't for everyone but I do like some of their ideas and principles