Will we ever been organised again?!?

This week Baby M turns 8 weeks old, how the time has flown!!

We still seem to be really disorganised in the morning, the time seems to fly and it's lunchtime before we know it.  Baby M wakes up about 630-7 but he then gets cosy on Mr M and falls asleep until 930.  We then give him his bottle, we have our showers (usually I jump in the shower whilst Mr M gives baby his bottle) and before we know it its lunchtime!!  I worry about what it's going to be like when Mr M goes back to work and its just me.  Maybe that will make us more organised as his going to work will make us be organised

When I have been looking at baby groups some of them are at 930 in the morning, how will we be ready for 930am?!?

Mr M have always been a bit faffy but we need to get ourselves into gear I think and get some kind of plan in the morning.  The rest of the day always goes well. 

When we plan to do something it feels like everything goes tits up and plans go down the toilet!

Has anyone else found being organised a struggle?

Do you have any tips??

What about the men?!?

Mr M is struggling with being a parent.  He is quite an anxious person anyway but since Baby M has arrived he worries he isn't doing a good job and with the sleep deprivation making everything seem 100x worse he has become low in mood.  He has given me permission to blog about his thoughts, feelings and struggles but I feel it is quite personal - it's his story to tell not mine.  It has however got me thinking - what about the men?!?

We have discussed everything with our health visitor who, along with family, has been a great support.  I think it is really important to have a good support network as without one things can become much worse.  Our health visitor made some valid points.  It is hard being a new parent - nothing can prepare you for the huge changes in your life and the fact that a tiny person is now totally reliant on you.  There is no shame in saying you are struggling and need help.

Health professionals are quick to check how mum is feeling, there are groups for mums to go and talk about how they feel and how they are managing.  Mums get a good amount of time to bond with baby by being off work.

What do dads get?!? 2 weeks paternity leave with some annual leave to add on if they are lucky.  How are you supposed to get your head round such a life changing experience in 2 weeks?!  No one asks dad how he is managing, yes mum gave birth but dad is going through everything that mum is going through too.  There aren't groups for dads to go to, men are well known for not being able to discuss their feelings but surely they should be given the option.  Men have this macho manly thing that crying is bad and that they should be superman and be able to hold everything together and nothing should phase them - this adds to the pressure already being piled on by people asking how much sleep you are getting, does the baby cry, how often does he eat, etc, etc, etc!!

A new baby turns your life upside down, yes it is amazing and wonderful but you need to make sure you look after yourself too.  A baby needs it's parents to be there and to be healthy.  You need to do whatever you can to make sure you stay well, be that taking it in turns to get up in the night, going for a walk on your own, asking someone to watch the baby for a few hours whilst you have some sleep or some couple time.  Whatever works for you to help make things a little more manageable.

Mr M is a brilliant Dad & Baby M clearly loves him already.  He will get through this difficult period.

Difficulties sleeping - every baby is different

Surprisingly this post isn't about us struggling with sleep but Baby M.  We have been pretty sure for a while that he dislikes his Moses basket but after being told that he can't "hate" it we preserved with nightly upsets.

Baby M sleeps no problem in his pram but when we put him in his Moses basket he grumbles, crys, thrashes about and generally gets upset.  He also seems to have worse reflux in his Moses basket.

We have a bear which my mum got us which has a sound device in it which plays heartbeat, white noise, lullaby and sea noises.  This seemed to work for a little while however it then stopped soothing him.  We tried putting a rolled up towel under his mattress at one end to see if that would help with his startle reaction and also the reflux, again we had varying success.  We tried a dummy, we think that Baby M will probably be a thumb sucker but he isn't quite there yet so we tried a dummy.  Again some nights he keeps it in his mouth and is soothed, other nights he just wants to spit it out.

We reached the stage where, sleep deprived, we brought the pram upstairs - Baby M settled to sleep with no issues.  I have no idea why but there must be something with the Moses basket he doesn't like.  We discussed it and agreed there is no point persevering with something that upsets him.

I had a look on some mum forums and this seems to be a common problem (phew - reassurance!!!).  Other people stated they had also brought the pram upstairs for sleeping, others stated they had found co-sleeping worked. We will not be trying co-sleeping - it scares me and I wouldn't sleep from worry we would squash Baby M.  Other people put their baby in the cot.  Unfortunately this isn't an option for us as half of it is still at my parents, we are hoping that they can bring the rest to us so we can put him in his cot.

Yes I know you aren't supposed to put them in the cot until they are 6 months old but on the forum people stated they put the baby in a sleeping bag and I feel this is what we would do also to ensure he didn't kick his covers over his head (he is a wriggler!!).

I have to keep reminding myself that every baby is different and what might work for one might not work for another - we've tried lots of options with Baby M and a Moses basket just isn't for him

1 month

I can't believe Baby M is a month old, the time has flown by but it also feels like he's been here forever.

It's been a hectic but amazing month - Mr M & I are still fumbling in the dark taking each day as it comes and feeling like we haven't a clue what we are doing.  Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier and we know it will - eventually.

Baby M has put on weight since he was born - he weighed 6lb 13oz when he was born and when he was last weighed by the health visitor he weighed 9lb 4oz.  Good boy!!!

He is now outgrown his newborn clothes but the 0-3 months are still too big in his arms and legs, he will grow into them though.

Baby M has also started smiling in the past few days, I mean proper smiling not "I have wind" smiles.  It melts your heart every time he smiles, I love it!!

He really enjoys tummy time and is able to lift his head up, he's had quite good head control for a week or so now.  He also kicks his legs about when on his tummy, which is bad news for the cat as I think he might be quite speedy once he crawls.  We also put him in his bouncer chair, he tolerates that for about 10 minutes before he gets grumpy.  He does enjoy giving the dangly monkey a good whack though.

Baby M seems fascinated by one of our lamps, he stares at it for ages, I often wonder what's going through his head when he's watching it.

Mr M has tried to get Baby M watching football and darts but we aren't interested in that yet, maybe he never will be!!

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas everyone!

1 week old

Wow what an amazing/tiring/quick week it's been (or should I say 13 days)

Baby M & I spent 2 days in hospital following his birth and I couldn't wait to get home to Mr M.  Our first night home was awful, baby M wouldn't settle. We tried feeding him, winding him and nothing seemed to work. At 4am we phoned the ward who were brilliant and gave us lots of reassurance, they said that it sounded like baby had very bad wind.  They gave us some tips and said they would phone us back in 2 hours, which they did.  It was so reassuring to know they were only a call away.  They also stated they would ask the midwife to come see us for our visit first thing. 

Our visits from the community midwives haven't been very positive experiences to be honest, there has been conflicting advice, one was just plain rude and another made me feel awful as she arrived as baby was crying.  After 2 seconds in the house she was making judgements about us and made us feel rubbish.  

On a positive note we were discharged from the midwives to our lovely health visitor as baby has gained weight and is doing well. 

One thing I am getting fed up of people asking is "are you in a routine"!!! Really?!? How is a week old baby supposed to have a routine???! Also people are obsessed by how much sleep we are getting.  Some nights are good & he's up every 3-4 hrs for a feed but other nights he won't settle until 4am.  Although we are both shattered I'm not worried, how does a new baby know the difference between day & night?!? We are just going with the flow and taking the lead from baby.

Some people are being pushy about visiting us too, we've been firm so far with regards to a visitor ban but people have ways of making you feel guilty. 

I feel things are going really well, baby seems happy & the fact he has put on 5oz in 5 days shows he is eating well.  We will just continue taking each day as it comes & enjoy our new family