Every changing friendships

I'm kind of used to friendships changing.

I'm not one of those people who is still best friends with their primary school best friend - and I'm not talking about 'Facebook Friends'.

We moved when I was in my last year of primary school and then when I left High School I was the only person who went to the city I studied in.  Five years ago Mr M & I left that city to move 200+ miles away to a completely new city.  I'm used to having to try and make new friends.

My longest friend is from university, she lives far to far away for my liking but we text nearly every day and phone when we can - she works nights and when I was working shifts would get in the way.  I can still tell her anything and everything and I know she's there for me, if not in body.  She doesn't have children - yet!

My other friend that I've known for nearly as long now has 3 gorgeous boys and again we don't see each other that often but meet whenever I go up to visit Mr M's family and she is free.  Through the joys of Facebook and text we are able to keep in touch and up to date with our growing families.  She has been a great help with mummy related issues.

I have however been feeling REALLY lonely lately!  I go to mummy and baby groups and am trying to talk to other mums but there are cliques and its hard to break in.  I'm determined though and haven't let that stop us going to the groups.

To some of my friends I seem to have fallen off the planet since I had Baby M.  What makes our friendship so different now I have a child??  It doesn't to me!! So I bring him along to coffee catch ups - he's so well behaved he doesn't cry when we are out so it's not like he's badly behaved/screaming/wailing.  I can still go on nights out as Mr M can babysit.  I have even more free time on my hands which means I can meet up WHENEVER.

I text and text trying to organise catch ups.  Generally I get fobbed off or we make plans then they cancel.  I know people have busy lives but we met up before!

Mr M keeps telling me to focus on those friends who do still want to meet up, who do take the time to reply to me and who genuinely seem interested in Baby M. I know he's probably right but I've always been a bit of an overthinker/worrier.

I had the "is it me?" thoughts.  I am someone they don't want to be around??

Maybe when I go back to work and I'm busy with that and spending time as a family I won't be so bothered.  But friendships are really important to me and I think we need them to stay slightly sane. 

I shall continue to persevere and maybe follow Mr M's advice of focusing on those friends who do make that effort.  With many things I have a 2 strike rule (as in 2 strikes & you're out) I feel that maybe too harsh for friendships though. 

I'm trying to organise cocktails/drinks for my birthday.  I'm hoping that people come and I'm not sitting there Billy-No-Mates.  I used to have fancy dress parties every year for my birthday from about 19-25 (they were AMAZING) but I'd always get upset by those people who'd say they were coming but never showed up, just be honest with me!!

I will keep going to the baby groups and trying to make new mummy friends.  


How have other mums managed their friendships since becoming parents?  Have your friendships changed?  How have you found making new mummy friends?

I can't have caffeine!!!

Has any other mum out there had this experience??

Before I got pregnant I wouldn't drink caffeine in the evening as I would struggle to sleep at night but I could have it during the day without it effecting me

Once I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking caffeine

We have a Dolce Gusto coffee machine and I love having a latte.  I also love a caramel macchiato from Starbucks - heaven!!  When I drink tea I have decaf anyway and I don't drink fizzy drinks so the only caffeine I have is coffee.

Even if I have a coffee in the morning I can't sleep that night!!

It took me a few nights to realise why I wasn't sleeping.  Mr M thought I was worrying about something and that was keeping me awake - I have been known to worry a lot!

It took a few days of no coffee for me to realise that it was the caffeine.  I still don't understand how having one in the morning can still effect me at night but it does!! 

I now have decaf pods for the coffee machine and ask or a decaf coffee when we go out so it's not a huge deal I just don't know why I'm so effected.

Am I now super sensitive to caffeine??

Has anyone else gone through this experience?  Did it change?

Mother's Day - to gift or not to gift

This weekend is Mother's Day, it will be my first! 

Growing up we never celebrated Mother's Day.  My mum's birthday is in March and she didn't want us buying her anything - as she said it's a 'Hallmark Day'.  I've often been surprised how upset some people have got when they haven't got anything and also how much some people spend.

I don't expect Baby M to get me things for Mother's Day when he is older, if he makes things as nursery or school that's different.  I think I'd much rather handmade things rather than bought anyway - means so much more!!

I started writing a Mother's Day gift guide but actually it doesn't just have to be Mother's Day - it can be birthday, Christmas or that looks nice lets buy it!

As a first time mum there have been lots of things I have seen that I would like to get to celebrate the fact we are now mummy and daddy to our gorgeous little boy.

How do you find these items?!  Gift apps are one great way of finding unique and different gifts that you maybe wouldn't find in high street stores.  I love the Gift Club App.  You can create a wishlist which is searchable so you don't have to send it to friends and family and feel like you are demanding certain gifts.  The wishlist can be actual items you've seen which you can add photos or URLs for or requests for a lie in or someone else to do the hoovering. 

I love photo gifts - we just got some photos from a photographer and they are great!! I got Mr M a photo mug for his Christmas which he is going to take to work and I love the idea of canvas'.  We also have an iPad cover with photos.  There are so many things you can get photos on now I would love a gift like this!

I love jewellery!  There are so many different mummy necklaces and bracelets that I have seen that I really want.  I have treated myself to 2 already, one from Silvercraft Design with our names on and another from Mama Jewels with a heart and our birthstones.  I love the idea of fingerprint charms for my Pandora bracelet and also love the bracelets with discs you can put baby's name and DOB on.

I love flowers, you can get so many gorgeous bouquets! I suppose flowers are the more traditional Mother's Day gift alongside chocolate.  The only downside is the fact they don't last that long.

All mums love pamper time and don't really get much of it.  I love spa days and massages but if that's a bit out of your price range you can get lovely sets for mum to have a soak in a bubble bath, a facial and do her nails.

Maybe you can cook mum her favorite meal or buy her a bottle of Eisberg Alcohol free wine.  I might appear a little neurotic here but I don't really like drinking much at the moment as I don't want to be under the influence when looking after Baby M.  Eisberg is great as it tastes like wine but doesn't have the alcohol.  It's great for pregnant mums and breastfeeding mums too.  You have a choice of red, white (chardonnay) and rose.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Mother's Day whatever you do!

Getting measured for the right bra post baby

I thought I knew my bra size but as my body has changed quite a bit from having Baby M I thought I would get myself measured just to make sure.  I was so wrong!!  I had been wearing a 36D but was measured as 32E - er slightly different!!

Once I tried on new bras in the correct size I felt the difference immediately, I felt much more supported.  The lovely lady who measured me said I needed a moulded bra, which I agree with as they felt much more secure.

Around the back area there was no longer any over hang or rolls like I had been experiencing.  I could wear some of my tops that I'd been avoiding due to the fat rolls.

I would definitely recommend every mum get measured post baby, you might be surprised by the results, as I was!

Now I get to treat myself to some new underwear - shopping trip!!!